Day 6 (of 31)

So it's time for day 6 (two days in a row is good for me). I noticed that my day 5 post, posted on the date that I saved it and forgot to post it. So if you didn't see it, go back and look at it in my March posts. But hopefully, I will be better now about posting on a regular basis.

Today's post is really hard. I've been thinking about skipping it (or making up a new one). Forgive me that my final decision was to just go ahead with the original day 6. I promise I did not decide to do this because I want pity or to make anyone feel bad. Please remember that I have made peace with my life and what God has chosen to do with it. I guess before you go crazy, here goes:


Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day



This is my sister-in-law...and I only used her because she's the only one I have a picture of while pregnant. (sorry Tanna!)
I would trade places with a pregnant woman for a day. To feel a small human being kicking and moving inside my body would feel so miraculous. But I DO NOT have to have this experience to have joy in life. I choose to have joy in all things because it is God that is leading my life. He knows what's best (even when it hurts a little).

Venting

I just have to vent. There is only one thing that I am not liking about being an adoptive parent. It's not my daughter, it's not the things she does, it's not even where she's been in her life. The thing I don't like is the birth family...or some of them. No, it's pretty much all of them. My daughter is no longer theirs (the story is not important). We chose her, we wanted her, we've worked with her and been through hell with her (sorry for the language). So I get a little peeved when a birth family member thinks they have the right to try and brainwash my daughter or to try and "fix" what supposedly wasn't the birth family's fault. Ok, the past is over-with. The birth parents don't have legal rights, we do. I have the new birth certificate to prove it....so butt out.

I was asked today if when my daughter turns 18, if she's released. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN! Is it not the general rule that at 18, a child turns into an adult. Old enough to make their own choices. In a word they are "released". Why should it be different? Except that I know what was meant by that...."is she released to go from your child to our child again?" Hello! I do not plan on going through hell raising her and getting her to overcome her past, just to give her back to those who did this to her. I mean do I have "idiot" written on my forehead?

I'm sorry...I just had to vent. It's my mommy instinct. I am protective of my daughter. The only person I will share her with (besides Scott) is God. She belongs to Him first and foremost....and He gave her to us. TO US!!! Get it through your head. I love her as if she was from my own body. I want the best for her (even if she gets mad at us for decisions we make for her).

Adoption is a beautiful thing..I think it's miraculous. I am sure now that I would not do well with an open adoption. But if it was fully closed, I would choose to adopt again. It's all up to God.

I guess since we had prom last night I do need some sleep....cause I was the parent waiting in the living room dozing on the couch. I might be more upset because I'm tired. So I'll leave you with my venting and a promise that I'll post pics of prom and my beautiful daughter and her date (he seems like a pretty good guy).