I'm gonna post twice today. This time will be much more light-hearted. I've just noticed that my meals at home have been blah....or even non-existent. I used to love cooking and in the past while have just kind of quit cooking food. What' wrong with me? I have all these cookbooks sitting in my kitchen and I haven't used half of the recipes in them. Why have so many cookbooks and recipes if you aren't going to use them?
So I had an idea that hit me today. I hope it will make meal-planning a little more fun. I'm going to cook my way through all my cookbooks, one at a time. I am also hoping that this will make me eat better (right now I just grab something junk-foodish because I just don't have the energy) but it's time to make a change. I'm trying a new diet to lose my last little bit of weight (plus some I gained over the summer after my last weight loss plan) and maybe this will help me. I think my family will appreciate it as well since they will be eating better too.
So starting tonight, I'm going to grab one of my family cookbooks and start my journey through some family recipes. Who knows, I might just find a new recipe to fall in love with.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
My story part 3....
Before Scott and I were married, we discussed how soon we would want to have kids. It was one thing we never could agree on. He wanted to wait 5 years to have a baby, and I wanted to wait 2 years....well, out loud I said that. I honestly wanted to try as soon as we got married, but I thought 2 years was a good compromise.
I started on birth control a couple months before we were married because Scott was worried we might get pregnant right away. I went along with it until about 6 months after our wedding. Then I used every excuse in the book to quit taking birth control and eventually just quit.
I expected that we would be pregnant very soon, especially since Scott was still very scared that it would happen right away. He didn't feel ready to be a daddy yet. And he had very good reasons for that, because our marriage was not in a good place.
Months went by, and more months went by...no pregnancy. I had researched online that it could take up to a year for a couple to get pregnant, so I hoped that within the year it would happen. (but deep down I had a nagging feeling that I would not have a baby of my own)
After 1 year of trying, we were living in Healy and I had met a woman who had moved to town that was in the same boat, they were trying and not getting pregnant. It was nice to have someone to talk to that understood how I was feeling. Scott took it as a sign that we just weren't supposed to have a baby yet...I didn't want to hear that.
Late summer of 2005 I did a concert in Garden City and started suspecting that I was pregnant. I was having all sorts of signs, my cycle was "MIA", and I kept thinking this was it. My best friend and I went to a county fair in the neighboring county. We both love the fast, spinning rides, so we rode on all of them. After a few rides, we got off our last ride of the evening and we both got sick to our stomach. (very unusual for us)
We both started suspecting that we were pregnant. It was awesome because what could be better than sharing the infertility journey with a friend, but sharing the pregnancy journey together. I was too scared to take one more pregnancy test, so I just waited. My good friend came over shortly after that and was sobbing...she had taken a test and was pregnant! This could only mean one thing....I had to be pregnant as well.
She had invited me to a women of faith weekend that was to take place within a week or so of her finding out she was pregnant (it was August). I was still suspecting I was pregnant. When we got there, I started feeling crampy and then started spotting. At first I really thought it was just my period. But when I had my period I never had cramps. After the first night of spotting, the bleeding got worse and the cramping was different than normal menstrual cramps.
I would have a terrible tightening cramp in my lower tummy (all I could do was grab something and squeeze) and then it would go away for awhile. It kept going on and on during the weekend. This was not like a normal cycle for me, so I started asking God what was going on with my body. I know this may sound strange to everyone else, but as I sat at this women of faith weekend I clearly heard God say to me "It will be ok, she's in my arms now". This told me all I needed to know. I was having a miscarriage.
The cramping got worse and worse as the 2 days went on, and by Sunday I was feeling so miserable. I had a concert to do Sunday evening on the way home and Scott was meeting us on the way home to bring me to this. I somehow made it through singing, and on our way home I kept telling Scott to pull over because I had a strange feeling like I had to push something out and needed to go to the bathroom. We stopped at a convenience store and when I got in there I was "pushing" and heard a plop....in the toilet was a blood clot with gray-ish blob in it. Call it a woman's instinct, but I knew what it was. I felt numb all over, and just flushed the toilet. I went out to our pick-up and calmly said "I just flushed our baby down the toilet."
It was after all the cramping and bleeding stopped (about 2 weeks later) that I finally started letting myself grieve. But it would be years before I fully grieved over it all (and many more miscarriages). This was a time in our marriage that we didn't need an added stress. It was around this time that I really dove into my counseling so that I could get past everything. By the end of the year I was able to work on our marriage and life started getting better. It was also time to start going to a Dr. for help in getting pregnant.
I guess I'll stop at this point, the next part adds a new twist to our lives that nobody expected. I know at this point things sound so hopeless and depressing, but I promise that once we get past all this, you will see all the hope and faith that these trials brought to us.
to be continued....
I started on birth control a couple months before we were married because Scott was worried we might get pregnant right away. I went along with it until about 6 months after our wedding. Then I used every excuse in the book to quit taking birth control and eventually just quit.
I expected that we would be pregnant very soon, especially since Scott was still very scared that it would happen right away. He didn't feel ready to be a daddy yet. And he had very good reasons for that, because our marriage was not in a good place.
Months went by, and more months went by...no pregnancy. I had researched online that it could take up to a year for a couple to get pregnant, so I hoped that within the year it would happen. (but deep down I had a nagging feeling that I would not have a baby of my own)
After 1 year of trying, we were living in Healy and I had met a woman who had moved to town that was in the same boat, they were trying and not getting pregnant. It was nice to have someone to talk to that understood how I was feeling. Scott took it as a sign that we just weren't supposed to have a baby yet...I didn't want to hear that.
Late summer of 2005 I did a concert in Garden City and started suspecting that I was pregnant. I was having all sorts of signs, my cycle was "MIA", and I kept thinking this was it. My best friend and I went to a county fair in the neighboring county. We both love the fast, spinning rides, so we rode on all of them. After a few rides, we got off our last ride of the evening and we both got sick to our stomach. (very unusual for us)
We both started suspecting that we were pregnant. It was awesome because what could be better than sharing the infertility journey with a friend, but sharing the pregnancy journey together. I was too scared to take one more pregnancy test, so I just waited. My good friend came over shortly after that and was sobbing...she had taken a test and was pregnant! This could only mean one thing....I had to be pregnant as well.
She had invited me to a women of faith weekend that was to take place within a week or so of her finding out she was pregnant (it was August). I was still suspecting I was pregnant. When we got there, I started feeling crampy and then started spotting. At first I really thought it was just my period. But when I had my period I never had cramps. After the first night of spotting, the bleeding got worse and the cramping was different than normal menstrual cramps.
I would have a terrible tightening cramp in my lower tummy (all I could do was grab something and squeeze) and then it would go away for awhile. It kept going on and on during the weekend. This was not like a normal cycle for me, so I started asking God what was going on with my body. I know this may sound strange to everyone else, but as I sat at this women of faith weekend I clearly heard God say to me "It will be ok, she's in my arms now". This told me all I needed to know. I was having a miscarriage.
The cramping got worse and worse as the 2 days went on, and by Sunday I was feeling so miserable. I had a concert to do Sunday evening on the way home and Scott was meeting us on the way home to bring me to this. I somehow made it through singing, and on our way home I kept telling Scott to pull over because I had a strange feeling like I had to push something out and needed to go to the bathroom. We stopped at a convenience store and when I got in there I was "pushing" and heard a plop....in the toilet was a blood clot with gray-ish blob in it. Call it a woman's instinct, but I knew what it was. I felt numb all over, and just flushed the toilet. I went out to our pick-up and calmly said "I just flushed our baby down the toilet."
It was after all the cramping and bleeding stopped (about 2 weeks later) that I finally started letting myself grieve. But it would be years before I fully grieved over it all (and many more miscarriages). This was a time in our marriage that we didn't need an added stress. It was around this time that I really dove into my counseling so that I could get past everything. By the end of the year I was able to work on our marriage and life started getting better. It was also time to start going to a Dr. for help in getting pregnant.
I guess I'll stop at this point, the next part adds a new twist to our lives that nobody expected. I know at this point things sound so hopeless and depressing, but I promise that once we get past all this, you will see all the hope and faith that these trials brought to us.
to be continued....
Friday, October 19, 2012
My story part 2...
I shared my wedding day story for you guys the last time I shared my story (ok, the first time I shared my story), so now it's time to move on. Wedding day over, honeymoon over, let's go right into "happily ever after".
I expected quite a bit of the happily ever after that you see in fairy tales. I mean, I waited 6 years to marry the man that I had a crush on from the moment I first saw him. How could it not go well? Ummm..let's see... on top of putting two different people together who come from different backgrounds, let's add some emotional baggage from the past. Let's let the emotional baggage be feelings of rejection and abandonment, being severely teased and tormented in school, and looking for love in all the wrong places as a teenager (if you know what I mean).
Put all this together and you don't really get a happily ever after. I was looking for my marriage to fix what happened in my past. I wanted it to fill the void of feeling abandoned by my birth mother. I wanted it to automatically take away the scars of having classmates tell me to commit suicide, call me nasty names, push me down the stairs. I expected marriage to make me forget the fact that I gave away my innocence way too soon. But marriage doesn't take it all away...in fact if you expect it to fix everything, it only adds to it.
Our marriage was not from a fairy tale. I was hurt, so in turn I hurt my husband. I learned to manipulate at a young age, so I used my skills to the fullest on my one true love. I really don't want to get in to very many details, but lets just say that our first 2 years of marriage was very hard. I would like to say it was harder than most, but I've never been in another marriage before.
To top it all off, 6 months after we got married, I quit taking birth control pills and started trying to get pregnant. I will admit to you now (I never wanted to admit it before) but I wanted to have a baby to try and fill that void that my marriage didn't fill. As we tried and tried and tried some more, the tension in our marriage got worse as I blamed my husband for not getting me pregnant. There were times he told me that he felt like I was just using him for a sperm bank.
In the first 2 years of our marriage, there were times we didn't think we'd make it as couple. I was stressed, he was stressed and sometimes we just didn't believe it was worth it to go through this kind of "hell" just to be married and have a family.
I remember yelling and screaming at Scott. I would expect him to do certain things and if he didn't do them I yelled, if he did do them I still yelled because I would find something about it that he did wrong. It was totally unfair for Scott.
In 2005, I was on the verge of a breakdown. I was still very depressed. I still had a bad habit that started as a teenager. When my emotional pain got to be too much, I would cut myself with a razor. Scott couldn't handle it anymore and asked me to please go get some counseling. He never outright said it, but I think he was giving me the choice to get help, or he was done with our marriage.
I went in to see a Christian counselor and as time went on (and with some mailed letters from Scott) I was on track to letting my past go. I was letting go of the hurt and scars. I learned that I was not defined by what happened in my past, but I could let it help me and even help others. I learned that I didn't even need good "self-esteem" I needed good "God-esteem". It was one of the most freeing things in my life. I did something that the counselor called "Soul Restoration" which is really just an intense prayer session that allows us to let God take our baggage that we don't need.
Wow....just remembering all this has been an emotional journey. It seems like such a long time ago, and almost like a totally different person. I'm so glad that we didn't quit this journey, because as I keep telling the different stories of our life together, you will see the moments of awesome joy even though there are times of trial.
Keep watching for part 3 of this gripping drama....lol.
to be continued...........
I expected quite a bit of the happily ever after that you see in fairy tales. I mean, I waited 6 years to marry the man that I had a crush on from the moment I first saw him. How could it not go well? Ummm..let's see... on top of putting two different people together who come from different backgrounds, let's add some emotional baggage from the past. Let's let the emotional baggage be feelings of rejection and abandonment, being severely teased and tormented in school, and looking for love in all the wrong places as a teenager (if you know what I mean).
Put all this together and you don't really get a happily ever after. I was looking for my marriage to fix what happened in my past. I wanted it to fill the void of feeling abandoned by my birth mother. I wanted it to automatically take away the scars of having classmates tell me to commit suicide, call me nasty names, push me down the stairs. I expected marriage to make me forget the fact that I gave away my innocence way too soon. But marriage doesn't take it all away...in fact if you expect it to fix everything, it only adds to it.
Our marriage was not from a fairy tale. I was hurt, so in turn I hurt my husband. I learned to manipulate at a young age, so I used my skills to the fullest on my one true love. I really don't want to get in to very many details, but lets just say that our first 2 years of marriage was very hard. I would like to say it was harder than most, but I've never been in another marriage before.
To top it all off, 6 months after we got married, I quit taking birth control pills and started trying to get pregnant. I will admit to you now (I never wanted to admit it before) but I wanted to have a baby to try and fill that void that my marriage didn't fill. As we tried and tried and tried some more, the tension in our marriage got worse as I blamed my husband for not getting me pregnant. There were times he told me that he felt like I was just using him for a sperm bank.
In the first 2 years of our marriage, there were times we didn't think we'd make it as couple. I was stressed, he was stressed and sometimes we just didn't believe it was worth it to go through this kind of "hell" just to be married and have a family.
I remember yelling and screaming at Scott. I would expect him to do certain things and if he didn't do them I yelled, if he did do them I still yelled because I would find something about it that he did wrong. It was totally unfair for Scott.
In 2005, I was on the verge of a breakdown. I was still very depressed. I still had a bad habit that started as a teenager. When my emotional pain got to be too much, I would cut myself with a razor. Scott couldn't handle it anymore and asked me to please go get some counseling. He never outright said it, but I think he was giving me the choice to get help, or he was done with our marriage.
I went in to see a Christian counselor and as time went on (and with some mailed letters from Scott) I was on track to letting my past go. I was letting go of the hurt and scars. I learned that I was not defined by what happened in my past, but I could let it help me and even help others. I learned that I didn't even need good "self-esteem" I needed good "God-esteem". It was one of the most freeing things in my life. I did something that the counselor called "Soul Restoration" which is really just an intense prayer session that allows us to let God take our baggage that we don't need.
Wow....just remembering all this has been an emotional journey. It seems like such a long time ago, and almost like a totally different person. I'm so glad that we didn't quit this journey, because as I keep telling the different stories of our life together, you will see the moments of awesome joy even though there are times of trial.
Keep watching for part 3 of this gripping drama....lol.
to be continued...........
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Too much excitement
I had a crazy afternoon today..or I guess yesterday. Everything was good up until almost 4:00. Let me share how my day went.
I spent the morning resting (as usual) and then had a "date" with a good friend at our local convenience store. I decided to get milk and other groceries at the store after that and then wanted to go home and relax.
I got home, parked in the garage, carried in the groceries, and then let our little malti-poo go outside to go potty. As I was getting ready to pull John out of the van, I heard barking, a yelp, and then heard the distinct sound of rattling.
I looked over in time to see a rattle snake near our garage (within 6 feet of me) ready to strike. And my little puppy running back to the garage. Instinct told me that the snake already bit Boogie (the dog) but I needed to get him in the house...as well as get John inside.
I had Martie check Boogie over and sure enough on his chest near his leg were two fang marks with blood and a clear liquid oozing out. I panicked...I love this dog like I love my children. I couldn't let him die!
I called his vet and they informed me they had no dr in the office. So I called another...still no one to help. I frantically called a 3rd vet and the said they could help. But then they shared the cost....pretty much the majority of our emergency money. I'll be honest I wasn't even thinking money at that point.
I packed John back in the van, had Martie grab Boogie and we were off. Boogie's leg was already swelling and he was getting more and more groggy. I drove 80 the whole way. We made it to the vet and they rushed him to the back.
Martie, John, and I waited till they had news. Boogie was going to be fine but had to spend the night there. The vet told me that we got there just in time because when they got Boogie in the back he was starting to be unresponsive. But he was responding well now.
Tomorrow we get to bring Boogie home as long as he does well till then. The worst part of this whole thing is thinking about the fact that a rattlesnake was just a few feet from my house. Where my family liked to hang out.
I called Scott right after it happened and he and some of hos co-workers tried to find and kill it, but it was gone. I hope it's gone for good, but I am scared it will be back.
This was too much of a day for me...I'd rather have a boring day.
I spent the morning resting (as usual) and then had a "date" with a good friend at our local convenience store. I decided to get milk and other groceries at the store after that and then wanted to go home and relax.
I got home, parked in the garage, carried in the groceries, and then let our little malti-poo go outside to go potty. As I was getting ready to pull John out of the van, I heard barking, a yelp, and then heard the distinct sound of rattling.
I looked over in time to see a rattle snake near our garage (within 6 feet of me) ready to strike. And my little puppy running back to the garage. Instinct told me that the snake already bit Boogie (the dog) but I needed to get him in the house...as well as get John inside.
I had Martie check Boogie over and sure enough on his chest near his leg were two fang marks with blood and a clear liquid oozing out. I panicked...I love this dog like I love my children. I couldn't let him die!
I called his vet and they informed me they had no dr in the office. So I called another...still no one to help. I frantically called a 3rd vet and the said they could help. But then they shared the cost....pretty much the majority of our emergency money. I'll be honest I wasn't even thinking money at that point.
I packed John back in the van, had Martie grab Boogie and we were off. Boogie's leg was already swelling and he was getting more and more groggy. I drove 80 the whole way. We made it to the vet and they rushed him to the back.
Martie, John, and I waited till they had news. Boogie was going to be fine but had to spend the night there. The vet told me that we got there just in time because when they got Boogie in the back he was starting to be unresponsive. But he was responding well now.
Tomorrow we get to bring Boogie home as long as he does well till then. The worst part of this whole thing is thinking about the fact that a rattlesnake was just a few feet from my house. Where my family liked to hang out.
I called Scott right after it happened and he and some of hos co-workers tried to find and kill it, but it was gone. I hope it's gone for good, but I am scared it will be back.
This was too much of a day for me...I'd rather have a boring day.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Dreams
I have spent a lot of time lately just looking at John. Sometimes I can't believe that he's really here. After almost 9 years of longing and trying for a baby made me think it was impossible and would never happen. And now I spend my days and nights staring at this beautiful baby boy that God created. A baby that spent 9 months with someone else, but somehow looks just like Scott.
Here's the crazy thing about John looking likely Scott. Our whole time trying for a baby, I prayed that God would make our baby look like Scott. I wanted our baby to have Scott's hair and eye color above all else. So far the hair color fits...and even the way his hair lays. We will see if his eyes turn out like Scott's eyes.
John is such a great testimony of how God works in lives. Sometimes our deepest desires do not match Gods desires for us...but He always had a perfect plan. Sometimes it's not in the time we think, but God has perfect timing.
I challenge you today to look at the things that didn't seem to go your way and look closely at how God worked it out. Or look at something that you want but haven't gotten yet, and patiently wait to see what God will do with your situation. He knows best even if you don't see it. Sometimes you have to give your dreams to Him before the dreams He has for you can become reality.
Here's the crazy thing about John looking likely Scott. Our whole time trying for a baby, I prayed that God would make our baby look like Scott. I wanted our baby to have Scott's hair and eye color above all else. So far the hair color fits...and even the way his hair lays. We will see if his eyes turn out like Scott's eyes.
John is such a great testimony of how God works in lives. Sometimes our deepest desires do not match Gods desires for us...but He always had a perfect plan. Sometimes it's not in the time we think, but God has perfect timing.
I challenge you today to look at the things that didn't seem to go your way and look closely at how God worked it out. Or look at something that you want but haven't gotten yet, and patiently wait to see what God will do with your situation. He knows best even if you don't see it. Sometimes you have to give your dreams to Him before the dreams He has for you can become reality.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
The story begins....
October is a good month for me because I get to celebrate one of the best decisions of my life. It's the month that Scott and I get to celebrate our wedding anniversary...a chance to celebrate the start of our family.
October 18, 2003
The day dawned bright and very warm for the middle of October. The sky was clear and I had to get up early to go all the way to Garden City (an hour away) to get my hair done. I hate getting up early, but I was so excited. I had waited 6 years to marry the man that I wanted to marry from the moment I saw him...literally.
My mom, sister (Michaela), and my brothers girlfriend, Tanna, came with me. Michaela and Tanna got their hair done as well. Michaela was my flower girl and a junior bridesmaid and Tanna was my "personal attendant". I just really wanted her to be a big part of my wedding because I loved her a lot and hoped that she would someday be my sister-in-law.
After getting my hair done, I remember stopping at a convenience store to get gum...so that my breath would be good for the "kiss" at the end of the ceremony. I also remember the feeling of riding in the front seat of the vehicle and enjoying people turning to watch a young woman with a veil on her head go by. It made me feel like a celebrity.
When we got out to Camp Christy (where we got married) I remember being very careful so that Scott didn't see me. I wasn't worried about the superstition of it, I just wanted it to be a surprise when he saw me in my dress and my hair done.
I got ready and then just waited for the car to bring my dad and I to the ceremony. I remember my parents coming over to me and praying over me and this new chapter in my life. Then my dad jokingly asked me if I wanted to run away and not get married. I didn't even hesitate when I told him "no way!"
Everyone left my dad, Tanna and myself to wait for the car. When the clock showed the right time, and the car was outside waiting for us, we made our way to the ceremony. We didn't know it at the time, but the clock we saw was off by about 10 minutes. I was actually about 10-15 minutes late for my own wedding! Good thing everyone knew I wasn't going to run away.
I readied myself outside the chapel door as everyone else made their way down the chapel aisle. Then my song came on, the one I recorded special for my daddy. I had my dad and my grandpa walk me down the aisle. They both took it very seriously and you can see it in the pictures that were taken.
The day was wonderful. The ceremony was very special, the amount of guests was perfect, and we had lots of fellowship time at the reception. I can remember most of the details of that day even now.
We had two Steven Curtis Chapman songs at our wedding. "Go There With You" and "I Will Be Here". What's crazy is that we didn't mean for these songs to be prophetic to our lives, but they were very much prophetic to what we would go through in our marriage. If you know our story and then go listen to these songs (especially "I Will Be Here") you will see what I mean.
We said "for better or for worse" and even though we've had lots of good times we didn't realize how much "for worse" we would really have in our 9 years of marriage this far. But it was a great start to a life with a man that I wouldn't trade for anything in this world.
To be continued......
October 18, 2003
The day dawned bright and very warm for the middle of October. The sky was clear and I had to get up early to go all the way to Garden City (an hour away) to get my hair done. I hate getting up early, but I was so excited. I had waited 6 years to marry the man that I wanted to marry from the moment I saw him...literally.
My mom, sister (Michaela), and my brothers girlfriend, Tanna, came with me. Michaela and Tanna got their hair done as well. Michaela was my flower girl and a junior bridesmaid and Tanna was my "personal attendant". I just really wanted her to be a big part of my wedding because I loved her a lot and hoped that she would someday be my sister-in-law.
After getting my hair done, I remember stopping at a convenience store to get gum...so that my breath would be good for the "kiss" at the end of the ceremony. I also remember the feeling of riding in the front seat of the vehicle and enjoying people turning to watch a young woman with a veil on her head go by. It made me feel like a celebrity.
When we got out to Camp Christy (where we got married) I remember being very careful so that Scott didn't see me. I wasn't worried about the superstition of it, I just wanted it to be a surprise when he saw me in my dress and my hair done.
I got ready and then just waited for the car to bring my dad and I to the ceremony. I remember my parents coming over to me and praying over me and this new chapter in my life. Then my dad jokingly asked me if I wanted to run away and not get married. I didn't even hesitate when I told him "no way!"
Everyone left my dad, Tanna and myself to wait for the car. When the clock showed the right time, and the car was outside waiting for us, we made our way to the ceremony. We didn't know it at the time, but the clock we saw was off by about 10 minutes. I was actually about 10-15 minutes late for my own wedding! Good thing everyone knew I wasn't going to run away.
I readied myself outside the chapel door as everyone else made their way down the chapel aisle. Then my song came on, the one I recorded special for my daddy. I had my dad and my grandpa walk me down the aisle. They both took it very seriously and you can see it in the pictures that were taken.
The day was wonderful. The ceremony was very special, the amount of guests was perfect, and we had lots of fellowship time at the reception. I can remember most of the details of that day even now.
We had two Steven Curtis Chapman songs at our wedding. "Go There With You" and "I Will Be Here". What's crazy is that we didn't mean for these songs to be prophetic to our lives, but they were very much prophetic to what we would go through in our marriage. If you know our story and then go listen to these songs (especially "I Will Be Here") you will see what I mean.
We said "for better or for worse" and even though we've had lots of good times we didn't realize how much "for worse" we would really have in our 9 years of marriage this far. But it was a great start to a life with a man that I wouldn't trade for anything in this world.
To be continued......
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Worth the Wait
I started out thinking that I would be blogging about our new expanded family every single day because I was so excited. I am learning one lesson with a newborn: Even if you thought you were gonna get it done, chances are you won't actually get it done. I knew that babies were time consuming and I knew that parents didn't sleep as much, but I didn't know it would go to this extent.
Don't get me wrong, as exhausted as I am, I am loving every moment of this. I am taking pictures like crazy (at least one every day) because of how fast he's growing and changing. And I'm savoring every moment of every day because I know that it will go by fast and that everything will get here soon enough.
I have a onesie that John will eventually wear that says "worth the wait". It is so true. He was worth the wait. It was a long and hard (almost) 9 years. Scott and I went through a lot before we got to where we are today. In fact, I was telling him just the other day that we could almost take our lives together and write a book. If I was really going to do that, I would want to share the bad, but most of all have the hope and our faith shine through.
Ok, how did I get from John to our life together. I think it's because I've been thinking about the things that I've been through in life and how it brought me to where I am and also made me who I am. My struggles started long before I married my true love, and didn't end once we had our wedding day and thought we were gonna have a "happily ever after."
It might sound crazy, but looking back, I am grateful for the struggles that I/we have had. They were tough at the time, but I wouldn't have grown without them. I am thinking that I would like to share my story (piece by piece) on my blog. Doesn't mean that I will post everyday, and not even every single post. But it's always been my hearts desire for my struggles to give hope to others facing similar things that I faced. I want people to share in some the sorrow, so that they can truly see the hope that shines in every situation.
Don't get me wrong, as exhausted as I am, I am loving every moment of this. I am taking pictures like crazy (at least one every day) because of how fast he's growing and changing. And I'm savoring every moment of every day because I know that it will go by fast and that everything will get here soon enough.
I have a onesie that John will eventually wear that says "worth the wait". It is so true. He was worth the wait. It was a long and hard (almost) 9 years. Scott and I went through a lot before we got to where we are today. In fact, I was telling him just the other day that we could almost take our lives together and write a book. If I was really going to do that, I would want to share the bad, but most of all have the hope and our faith shine through.
Ok, how did I get from John to our life together. I think it's because I've been thinking about the things that I've been through in life and how it brought me to where I am and also made me who I am. My struggles started long before I married my true love, and didn't end once we had our wedding day and thought we were gonna have a "happily ever after."
It might sound crazy, but looking back, I am grateful for the struggles that I/we have had. They were tough at the time, but I wouldn't have grown without them. I am thinking that I would like to share my story (piece by piece) on my blog. Doesn't mean that I will post everyday, and not even every single post. But it's always been my hearts desire for my struggles to give hope to others facing similar things that I faced. I want people to share in some the sorrow, so that they can truly see the hope that shines in every situation.
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