"Prepare"

At the beginning of this year my husband and I got a very familiar message from God. We got the same message at the beginning of the year that Scott found out about his eye cancer. The message was one word long and the word is a pretty simple one..."Prepare."

Seems easy enough, right? The two times that God has given us this message, we have no idea what's coming, we have just learned that it means, "Hold on tight to Me(God) and the truths I have taught you." We found out this summer what prepare meant this time....so I'll give it to you in the shortest version I know.

It started out in the spring with my dad getting very sick. We weren't sure what it was and the dr's were baffled because they thought it was his gall bladder but found out it wasn't. My dad was convinced it was stomach cancer. We just knew he was very sick. Finally after weeks of suffering with throwing up, sleepless nights and lots of pain. He was finally diagnosed with an ulcer. He is now on meds and a special diet (I'm pretty sure he's taking the meds....can't say how the diet is going).

With that behind us we planned for our summer. It was gonna be a good one with lots of fun times. We went on vacation at the end of May/beginning of June to Minnesota and South Dakota. It was awesome.

While on our vacation we get a phone call that my dad was in an accident. I can't give details, but it was not just a fender/bender. He's ok, but very shaken up. We are ok as long as he's ok. Again, time to move on in life.

We get back from vacation and start our "real" summer vacation at home. That is until the middle of June. I'm outside practicing for an upcoming concert (without my phone). Martie runs outside yelling, "Michael and Destinee were in an accident!" Thinking it couldn't be that bad or we would have gotten an emergency phone call (hmm...phone was inside...??), I call my mom and ask what's going on.

She tells me that they've been trying to call and that yes, Michael and Destinee were in an accident. That Taydem wasn't with them and that they don't know any details except that a first-responder called them and told them to get here asap.

I go into panic mode. Then a person that knows Michael and Desi comes over and shares with me that she just found out they are life-watching my brother to Wichita, but still no details.

To make a long story short, my brother and his wife were in a very serious accident where they were both thrown out of the vehicle. Their son was not with them (and we ended up taking care of him for a short while). Both of them ended up being flown to Wichita. Many broken bones and a few surgeries for both of them. They are currently at home and as far as I know now, my brother is doing well and Desi is making progress but still not fully recovered (will take awhile).

Ok, that's enough to make you go, "wow! What a summer!" But I'm not done yet. Shortly after the accident a situation with my dads accident brings that one all back up again (sorry, can't share details). This summer has not been good on my dad's ulcer.

I did have one good hospital visit so far this summer. My sister-in-law had my nephew Chaseton. He's such a cutie and looks just like his dad. He's one of the bright and sunny moments of our summer.

Not too long after this, a member of my husbands family finds out they have cancer....not sharing any other details at this moment. And all the while Scott's dad has had hip issues from a previous hip replacement. He's planning to have a surgery at some point to fix things.

Things are going well, I'm thinking it's all looking up. I'm at work one day and since all is going well, I don't have my phone with me (it's in my purse). The store phone rings. It's my mom to tell me that my Grandma from Minnesota has passed away suddenly. So, we pack up quick and leave the next day for Minnesota where I sing at my grandma's funeral.

Did I mention that on the way up to Minnesota we visited my father-in-law in the hospital because he just (the day my grandma passed away) had his surgery on his hip. Unfortunately, when the dr does the surgery he finds that it's very infected and he has to clean it up instead of just fixing the hip. But all is well, they cleaned it out, he'll stay a few days in the hospital and then be ok till they can do another hip replacement.

Get back from Minnesota and the same day we get home I have a concert. We find out that my father-in-law is not doing well and has developed pneumonia. Within a day he's in icu and not breathing well on his own. He does eventually have a breathing tube in so he can actually breathe. My husband spends a couple days at the hospital with his family helping to get his dad better.

Well, his dad got better, got the breathing tube out, is out of icu and at another hospital in the town he lives in. He's recovering as we speak and looking better everyday.

And so far, that's our summer. I'm really looking forward to school starting. And I'll be honest, the next time I hear God say, "Prepare" you can bet I'll be preparing much better than I did the last two times.

Day 6 (of 31)

So it's time for day 6 (two days in a row is good for me). I noticed that my day 5 post, posted on the date that I saved it and forgot to post it. So if you didn't see it, go back and look at it in my March posts. But hopefully, I will be better now about posting on a regular basis.

Today's post is really hard. I've been thinking about skipping it (or making up a new one). Forgive me that my final decision was to just go ahead with the original day 6. I promise I did not decide to do this because I want pity or to make anyone feel bad. Please remember that I have made peace with my life and what God has chosen to do with it. I guess before you go crazy, here goes:


Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day



This is my sister-in-law...and I only used her because she's the only one I have a picture of while pregnant. (sorry Tanna!)
I would trade places with a pregnant woman for a day. To feel a small human being kicking and moving inside my body would feel so miraculous. But I DO NOT have to have this experience to have joy in life. I choose to have joy in all things because it is God that is leading my life. He knows what's best (even when it hurts a little).

Venting

I just have to vent. There is only one thing that I am not liking about being an adoptive parent. It's not my daughter, it's not the things she does, it's not even where she's been in her life. The thing I don't like is the birth family...or some of them. No, it's pretty much all of them. My daughter is no longer theirs (the story is not important). We chose her, we wanted her, we've worked with her and been through hell with her (sorry for the language). So I get a little peeved when a birth family member thinks they have the right to try and brainwash my daughter or to try and "fix" what supposedly wasn't the birth family's fault. Ok, the past is over-with. The birth parents don't have legal rights, we do. I have the new birth certificate to prove it....so butt out.

I was asked today if when my daughter turns 18, if she's released. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN! Is it not the general rule that at 18, a child turns into an adult. Old enough to make their own choices. In a word they are "released". Why should it be different? Except that I know what was meant by that...."is she released to go from your child to our child again?" Hello! I do not plan on going through hell raising her and getting her to overcome her past, just to give her back to those who did this to her. I mean do I have "idiot" written on my forehead?

I'm sorry...I just had to vent. It's my mommy instinct. I am protective of my daughter. The only person I will share her with (besides Scott) is God. She belongs to Him first and foremost....and He gave her to us. TO US!!! Get it through your head. I love her as if she was from my own body. I want the best for her (even if she gets mad at us for decisions we make for her).

Adoption is a beautiful thing..I think it's miraculous. I am sure now that I would not do well with an open adoption. But if it was fully closed, I would choose to adopt again. It's all up to God.

I guess since we had prom last night I do need some sleep....cause I was the parent waiting in the living room dozing on the couch. I might be more upset because I'm tired. So I'll leave you with my venting and a promise that I'll post pics of prom and my beautiful daughter and her date (he seems like a pretty good guy).

New Song...again

Ok, yes I know I had a really long break (and I still have to continue with my 31 day thing). It's been a weird, strange week (and some odd days). But I have to share this song that I found tonight. I've heard this song before, but I've never really "heard" this song. Scott and I decided I need to add it to my song list (of songs I sing of course...lol). So it's now gonna be on the Stevens Park list. It's also on my playlest below..so enjoy!

We Can (by LeAnn Rimes)
They'll try to stop the dream we're dreamin'
But they can't stop us from believing
They will fill your head with doubt
But that won't stop us now
So let them say we can't do it
Put up a road block
We'll just run right through it.. Cause...

We can, do the impossible
We have the power in our hands
And we won't stop 'cause we've got
To make a difference in this life
With one voice, one heart, two hands, we can

They say the odds are stacked against us
But that can't hold us back, we will be relentless
There's a voice they're gonna hear
A voice so loud and clear
So let them say we can't do it, give us a mountain,
and we're gonna move it.. cause..

We can, do the impossible
We have the power in our hands, and we won't stop
Cause we've got to make a difference in this life
With one voice, one heart, Two hands, we can

We're gonna make a change today (make a change today)
Because we've got the faith it takes
To win this race, so let them say we can't do it
Put up a road block
And we'll just run right through it cuz..

We can, do the impossible
We have the power in our hands and we won't stop
Cos we've got to make a difference in this life
With one voice, one heart Two hands, we can

I can (oh I can)
Do the impossible (do the impossible)
I have the power in my hands, and I won't stop
Cause I've got to make a difference in this life
With my one voice, one heart, two hands, we ca

Day 5 (of 31)

Day 5, except that it should be like day....I don't know. Life got a hold of me...it got busy...and I kind of quit blogging (for the most part). I've had some issues that have had my attention. I've been worrying, stressing, and trying to cope. It's all good (and no I have not blogged about these issues). So I will start again with my 31 days starting with day 5. Here goes:

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory




I have so many favorite memories. But I guess I'll say that my wedding day is at the top of my list. It's the day I married the best man in the whole world, and I've never regretted it. Even when times got tough. We are going to renew our vows at our 10 year anniversary, which will be in 2013. I can't believe that's only 2 years away. I can't wait to wear my wedding dress again, and make renew my vows publicly one more time. I fall more and more in love with this wonderful man everyday.

Day 4 (of 31)

Day 04 A picture of your night.


This is a picture of me sleeping with my puppy. This is what I do at night. My puppy, Spencer always sleeps with me. He's my baby, and he's way too spoiled. My big german shepherd, Krissi, will sometimes lay with me in bed, but not often....only when Scott's not in bed.

Day 3 (of 31)

This one was hard, because I have a few favorite shows.

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show
Umm.....let's see. I have a few favorite shows...I'll narrow it down to three.



Saved By the Bell


Full House


NCIS


Ok, I cried when she died on the show (not the actress) and I miss Kate. She was replaced by Zeva. As of this weekend I got further in the shows, and now there's another character change that literally made me cry. I'm totally way too addicted.