I don't even know if I can find words to describe how I'm feeling right now. I'm devastated (once again), but amidst those feelings of loss and disappointment I feel the arms of God surrounding me. I can't say that I've ever really felt it like this before. I'm sad, don't get me wrong, but right now I am feeling the love of God in a way I've never felt. I've always known that my babies are with Him in Heaven, but for some reason it seems more real today than it ever has.
It's almost as if I'm so close to heaven right now that I could just reach out and touch it. That I just might be able to get a small glimpse of my sweet angels and maybe even touch them for one precious moment. Maybe right now it's God's way of comforting me, or maybe I'm really grasping the fact that Heaven is real.
But if I can't be there to hold my babies, rock them to sleep, or sing them lullabies, then I couldn't ask for a better father to them than our Heavenly Father. It's like the song says, "I can't imagine Heaven's lullabies" to have Jesus singing lullabies to you must be the best thing ever.
So, yes, I do have bad news in the fact that one more Soodsma baby is gone.....but I have the hope and promise of seeing them again and I will cling to that with all my heart.
Love to you all.
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