Decisions, decisions

I almost don't know what more to say besides the title. But I better explain. We have taken a very large break from "trying" and those who follow my blog understand what I mean by that. This past May we hadn't even started trying for the summer yet when we ended up pregnant and I miscarried at the end of May. Since then I've not been ready or willing to risk trying hard for a baby.

This past weekend I also made the decision to give it all up to God. And I have been perfectly content to leave it in His hands and if I don't ever have my own baby, I'm ok with that. But today I all of a sudden had the thought that this cycle I want to try the clomid again. I have some on hand and the timing of it would have me taking it on Tuesday night. So the question is....do I take it and do we try, or do we just leave it alone and accept life as it is.

I don't want to give up too soon when there might be a chance, but at the same time, if it's not in God's will I don't want to push where I don't belong. I also don't want to get pregnant and miscarry once again. 6 has been plenty (and I just ordered the May stone for my memorial necklace). We don't need 7 angel babies.

I have not made up my mind yet, and thank goodness I have a couple days to be praying and thinking about it. If it's what God wants, I will give it my all and do exactly as I'm supposed to as far as dr's and things. And if it's not God's will, then we will go on as we have been and I will be content with what God has given me. So can I ask that you be praying for and with me in the next couple days as I seek God's will in all of this?

In other business, we are still waiting about the house we want. We were approved for a loan, but they won't loan us the $$ until the wiring gets replaced by the owner. So this next week we will be talking to the owner and trying to negotiate. I still really like this house and would love it, but I am choosing to take this the same way as the clomid thing....I want to be in God's will, so I want what He wants.

Just keep praying, I'll keep you posted, and all will be great and wonderful no matter what. Love to you all and God's blessings over you.