My baby boy

Today I did one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I buried our most recent angel baby. We named him Isaac Samuel. I've had 8 miscarriages, but have never been able to actually bury our babies.

We picked out a nice little box to put his remains in and then I used a wooden recipe box to put that little box in along with cards and letters from us as his family.

He's not too far from us. There is a small tree in our backyard and I thought it was the perfect place for my sweet angel. I bought a cross marker that has his name and the date that he passed. I placed flowers by his tiny grave and a stone on top of his place of rest.

I know to most people, a miscarriage means nothing but a woman losing a pregnancy that would have one day been a baby....but to a woman who has had a miscarriage they are losing an actual baby. Someone they wanted to get to know and watch grow up. A woman already loves her baby from the moment that she finds out this tiny person is real. (aka...a positive pregnancy test).

I know most people think that life is supposed to just go on like normal, but I just can't do that. I have to grieve like any other person that loses a loved one. I made a good step today. I was able to get motivated to clean my house and do some work that I've been neglecting. I thought this was a great step in the right direction. I know that I can continue to move on because of today.

Sorry if this post seems too personal, but it's like I said...I am pretty sure it's just for my benefit anyway.