Humble new beginnings

I sit here at my computer a very humbled woman. I just spent the last little bit reading my old blog (waiting for a blessing). It's crazy to see what God was trying to do in my life and then what I allowed Him to do and kept Him from doing. I truly believe that it was all a process to get me to where I am today, but it was very hard to see my lack of faith.

As I sat here reading, I felt like I was reading the story of someone else besides myself. I wanted to reach through the computer screen and shake this strange person sharing my life story with such negativity. Yes, life has been rough at times, but that doesn't mean that God wasn't working. I could see as I read, the evidence of His working in everything. Scott's cancer, our infertility, the loss of babies, and the joy of becoming parents to Martie. God's work is woven through it all.

There's nothing wrong with being tired, a little depressed or overwhelmed, or any other feelings. But I am glad that I don't sit here letting it all take over my life. I admit, I was a bit embarrassed to read about this strange woman who had daily pity parties. Where was the contentment? Where was the true Joy of the Lord that I "claimed" to have at times? But in the past month things have truly changed with me.

I can only put the blame for that change on God Himself. I gave it all to Him, nailed it on the cross , and He made me a new woman. A changed, forgiven, and free woman. Life will still be tough at times. And with two teenagers in the house and a baby on the way it's sometimes very tough. But I spend time reading His word and praying almost everyday...I'm still not perfect you know. Lol! I can't do this life without Him. He is the source of my true joy!

I want from this point on, to be able to come back and read this blog and see the confidence that I had in God. To see the evidence of His work with no doubts about how He went about it. He never leaves us or forsakes us. He has never left me or forsaken me. I could sit here right now and make a list of all my blessings and not be done with that list for weeks and weeks. And here's a challenge to you (as well as me): Think of what you thanked God for yesterday....what would you have woken up with today if He took everything away except what you thanked Him for yesterday? Are we truly thanking Him for what He does?

I end this post as I started it...sitting here as a humble woman, knowing that all I have is from God and it's my job to give it all back to Him as an offering.

"I love you, Lord
and I lift my voice,
to worship you.
Oh, my soul, rejoice.
Take joy my King,
in what you hear.
May it be a sweet,
sweet sound in Your ear."