Breathe, Mel, Breathe

I've been hearing that phrase a lot today. So I've tried to literally sit down at times and do that. It is hitting me today that the battle is real and as of tomorrow, the battle is on. It is like being punched in the gut that knocks the wind out of you. And all that's left to do is sit down and take deep breaths.

I was nervous about the eye cancer, but this is different. It's different in that it's inside his body, not on the surface of his eye. It's also different because I was a lot more ignorant before. I guess ignorance is bliss, as they say. One last reason: OUR KIDS! They don't understand this at all. They can't get why their daddy would get cancer in his lungs. The problem is that all I can do is be here for them. I can't take it away, I have to just be there and help them grieve this. All the while I have to find my own time to grieve and do what I need for me.

So today as I pack and get ready for the trip, you'll find me occasionally sitting down and repeating to myself "Breathe, Mel, Breathe."