Keep your mind on Christ

It is sometimes really hard to keep our minds on the things of God. I say this because I've been doing research about some shows that my middle daughter has been watching lately. Scott and I have not felt right about them, but to try and explain to our daughter that she can't watch them because of a feeling we have wasn't working out to well. So I did some research today on these shows. What are the shows saying to our daughter, what is the christian perspective on them, were two questions that I wanted answered in my search today.

I found my answer in my internet search. I found a great article that spoke just what I needed to hear and what later today my daughter will hear. It's going to be very tough for her to hear all of this...and tougher yet will be our conclusion that she is not to watch these shows any longer. Why will it be tough? Because most of her friends are watching these shows, and it's very hard to give something up when our family knows full well that the other kids will be allowed to continue watching these shows.

We all have those things that we know are wrong for us to do, but yet we keep going with them. We know deep down that God does not approve of the action or thought, but it seems so innocent, it seems like it might be ok for us to do it because we are strong enough not to get in too deep, or we know God will forgive us anyway, right? These are not good attitudes to have. God knows what's best for us and that's why He gives us guidelines to follow.

The article I found used scripture to teach the reader how to judge for themselves whether something was good or not:

“Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me — put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”

Think for a minute about that list of words: true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy. This is a great verse to revisit time and time again not only with anime and manga but also with all our media decisions (such as movies, TV shows, video games and music)."

I will share the link at the bottom of my post if you want to read his article.

Is there something in your life that doesn't fit with this scripture? Something that gives you that "gut check" everytime you think about it, but you continue it anyway? I challenge you to give it up for Christ. He can see the world and our lives so much clearer. He sees the big picture when we can't.

If you aren't a parent right now, pretend you are for the sake of the example. Say your child is walking in a parking lot with you, and they want to run to the store entrance. You know that it's safer to walk and look for vehicles, but they don't understand this, so what do they do? They let go of your hand and take off running, right at the moment you see a car coming. You can see the car, but they cannot. You see the danger when they do not.

Remember God is our wonderful Father in Heaven. He sees the "cars" in this "parking lot" of a world. Let Him hold your hand and lead you safely to the "store entrance".

http://www.thechristiandefense.com/viewtopic.php?t=7776

I'm bilingual!

No, I don't speak much spanish, don't speak any french, and I don't know any other language at all. But besides english I do speak one more language. It's the language of music. I actually speak the language of music just slightly better than I speak english. How is this? Because I find that I can express myself better through music than I can by telling people how I feel or what I'm thinking. I tend to find songs that speak about a situation I might be going through, or might express how I feel about a person better than I can tell them. So what do I do? I will post song lyrics, I will sing the song, or I'll even post a video of a song.

Each of my children has a song (a couple of them have more than one song because I found 2 or 3 songs that might speak how I feel about them). I even have songs that make me think of Scott and how I feel about him. We have talked about renewing our vows and I've already been planning the music that will be played at that ceremony.

I really believe that music is powerful. Have you ever been in a bad mood? Ha...that's a silly question, who hasn't been in a bad mood. Well, think about a time when you maybe felt angry or hurt and listened to some music that fed those feelings. A song that expressed anger at a person for doing you wrong or something similar to what you are going through. It keeps you in a bad mood and you keep re-living the bad situation instead of moving on.

Now think about a time you were in a bad mood and listened to positive music. It may have been worship music, other Christian music, positive secular music, or even classical music can work the same too. This music lifted your spirits. It helped you realize that it was time to let the hurt or anger go, right? That's how powerful music is. It can alter your mood! Songs can make us feel sad, they can make us laugh, we can feel happy feelings, we can feel love, or we can feel angry. Wow!!!!!

So if it ever seems like I'm struggling to find words to express myself in person or on here, I bet you will shortly find me posting some kind of music from somewhere that will help me express myself. Try using music as your language the next time you might be struggling to express a thought or a feeling. You might be surprised that you can speak one more language.

I pinch myself sometimes to make
sure I'm not in a dream. That's how
it seems, I close my eyes and
breath in the sweetes moments
I've ever known
It feels like home, and here
I am I wanna be your everything
There you are turning winter
into spring.

And everyone that sees you
always wants to know you
And everyone that knows you
always has a smile
Your standing ovation
after years of waiting
for a chance to finally Shine.
Everyone calls you amazing
yeah-eh
I Just call you mine

I fall apart, just a word from you
some how seems to fix, whatever's
wrong ohh
You reach into the weakest
moments and remind me that I'm
strong
You've gotta know

I'd be a fool, not to see your
even worse
To forget that your more than
I deserve

Cause everyone that sees you
always wants to know you
And everyone that knows you
always has a smile
Your standing ovation
after years of waiting
for a chance to finally Shine.
Everyone calls you amazing
I Just call you mine

Nothin' makes sense
when you're not here
as if my world disappears
without you what's the point
of it

Cause everyone that sees you
always wants to know you
And everyone that knows you
always has a smile
Your the dream that I've been
chasin'
after years of waiting
for a chance to finally Shine.
Everyone calls you amazing
I Just call you mine
Everyone calls you amazing
yeah yeah yeah
I just call you mine

I really like these lyrics. It's a song called "I Just Call You Mine" by Martina McBride. I think this song is very romantic and I've always thought of my husband when I hear this song....until this morning. It hit me that the lyrics to this song fit very well for our sweet baby boy.

Sometimes I do feel like I'm in a dream when I'm sitting there holding him in my arms. I waited so long to hold a baby that I could call my own. And of course when people see him (even in walmart or other stores) they want to come over and see him. Then there's the line that says "You're the dream that I've been chasin' after years of waiting for a chance to finally shine"...I really did wait years for him. I waited 9 years of our marriage for a baby.

Here's what John has to say about it:

hgtytyddjk h gg cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc

Not only is he a blessing to us, but God chose to bless us in 2 ways we never expected to be blessed. We never expected to adopt 2 teenagers. It's very hard for teens to get adopted and this is where God called us to a place that we never thought. The road has been hard...but good. If I had a chance to redo my life and change the way it turned out, I don't think I'd change a thing. I know this is how God wanted it, so I wouldn't ask for anything but His will in my life. He knows best.

So here's my challenge to you: The road may seem hard and long, but don't lose faith and hope in the plan that God has for you. You might not be able to see it today, but someday you will see what he brought you through and it will all make sense (even if that moment is standing at the pearly gates hugging Jesus).

Give unto others....

Something hit me today as I was just sitting on my couch. Like literally 2 minutes ago. It hit me so hard, I had to stop what I was doing and blog about it.

A few days ago I was feeling very down about some things in my life. My feelings were hurt and I was hanging onto the hurt and dwelling on it. It was something that legitimately hurt me and I had every right to feel the way I did, but it was something that was not life and death.

My tendency in life is to hang onto those things that hurt me. I actually have to consciously make myself let things go and forgive when needed. But this time, before I made the decision to do this, I accidentally stumbled upon something that caused me to let it all go, without consciously thinking about it.

It will be grandparents day on September 8. So I decided to send a couple books to my parents, since they live far enough away to miss quite a few things. They called me up last night and today to thank me for the books.

Their phone call today is when it hit me that by giving a gift to someone else, I forgot about how I was feeling. I forgot to feel sorry for me and dwell on my hurt. So my lesson today as clear as clear could be:

When feeling bad about yourself (whether you think it's legitimate or not) give to others, do something for someone and you will forget all about your own troubles. It was a great feeling to suddenly realize that I had made a choice to free myself from a burden without actually knowing I had done so.

I've found blogging to be a very relaxing end to my day. I can take thoughts from my day and get them out before going to bed. It has helped me sleep. I understand that not too many people read it, and that's ok, because it doesn't matter how many people might read it. It's all about me getting my feelings out. Ok, I will admit that it feels good to know that I have people who read it, but I've still blogged when I didn't think anyone was reading it.

Life is getting much better around our house. I got a bunch of cleaning done yesterday, while Scott watched the kiddos (John and the little girl I babysit). It felt good to get those things done. John is doing better at night and during the day at naptime. We got him some amber teething beads and they actually have helped. We really just ordered them as a last resort, thinking that we would be wasting our money. But they have helped, not to mention that John has a really cute necklace that looks good on him.

I still can't believe that it's almost John's first birthday. Actually we realized that this year marked big milestone birthdays for all three of our kiddos. Martie turned 18, Lizzy will be 16 in October, and John's 1st birthday next month. Since Martie moved out before her birthday, she chose to have a party with her birth father. John's birthday is already a pretty big affair (not people-wise, but celebration-wise). Then Lizzy's party is one that we're not sure what to do about. We should do something really special, but I don't know what. At one point Scott wanted to rent a limo for a 16th birthday party, so it could be that we decide to do that.

Ok, that really probably means nothing to my readers, but I guess it was on my mind tonight. :)

Well, I am actually feeling relaxed and ready to go to bed soon. I hope you all had a good weekend and I wish you all a great week ahead. God Bless!!!

Proverbs 31 Woman

There's a book that I've loved reading since I was 19 years old. I continue to read it at least once a year. I worked at a camp as a cook for 5 years in a row (and loved it!) I found this book in the little house that I would stay in for the summer. It wasn't a new book at the time, and it's definitely not a new book now. It was published in 1984 (I was 2 at the time) and its called "The Proverbs 31 Lady and Other Impossible Dreams." It's by a woman named Marsha Drake.

I don't know Marsha Drake and I don't expect to ever meet her, but her book is such a great read. As the title suggests, she wrote about the passage in Proverbs that talks about "The Virtuous Woman." The book is not written in any way that you would think. She writes it from what I assume is her own life, and her struggles with becoming like the Proverbs 31 Lady that she reads about. It's filled with a number of humorous stories from her life.

I love this book in the fact that it relates to me. When she reads what this virtuous woman was like, she criticizes how she lives her life. Now this is a woman I can relate to. A woman who desires to be like the woman in Proverbs 31, but has not gotten it down perfect at all. This is how I feel like my life is. I want to be like that virtuous woman, I try really hard to be, but daily I feel like I fail.

I'm not a morning person and if you read the scripture, this woman is described as getting up early to start her work. I've tried this and not only do I just hit the snooze button until the alarm literally shuts itself off, but if I do manage to get up, my mood stinks and the work I do is not very good. I am a night person, so when the scripture mentions her staying up late to get her work done I can relate to that. I'm not a Bible scholar and I won't even pretend to have studied this scripture and looked up every word in Bible study books. I just know that some things I can do and some things I can't.

It's also very hard for me to keep my house as clean as what my mind thinks it should be. I've learned that when you have a baby in the house, you just have to lower your standards a bit, for your own sanity and for the sanity of your children.

In the book, she takes the whole Bible passage literally and tries to apply it to her life. She tries to take up sewing and it ends up in disaster (much like what might happen if I took up sewing on a regular basis). This book is filled with so many humorous stories of trying to take the passage literally.

In the end of the book, her husband praises her and she finds out that even when she thought she was failing everyday, her husband saw her efforts, he saw her to be that virtuous woman from the Bible.

That's just it, Ladies, God calls us to use this woman out of Scripture to be an example. He knows we can't be exactly like her, every moment of every day. But He calls us to strive to be like her. Just like He calls us to be Christ-like. We can't be perfect while we live on this earth, but He sees our hearts, He sees our motives. He knows when we are truly trying to be like the virtuous woman.

I recommend reading this book if you can. And let's all try to be the best "Proverbs 31 Ladies" we can be. I will continue my journey to becoming more like her, even if I feel like I fail everyday.

Changing moments

Exactly one year ago, we were sitting on the edge of our seats wondering when a baby boy would make his appearance. We were also sitting on the edge of our seats because we didn't know if the baby boy would really be our baby boy. It was a time of great stress for our family (immediate and extended) as we waited. We knew we had to plan some things, but yet had to be ready for the news that our sons birth mother might not choose to give him to us. That we might need to un-decorate a nursery, sell baby items, and grieve yet another loss.

I remember when I first got the phone call that told us to call a woman who wanted to give her baby up for adoption to a nice Christian couple. I remember a few weeks later driving to Garden City to meet her in person. Hoping with all my heart that this could be the woman carrying my precious gift from God, that I had waited years to get. I remember being so nervous and wanting to make a good impression. My heart was pounding, my hands were sweaty, and Scott told me I was doing my nervous giggle. I knew the ball was in her court and I prayed that we would be the ones she chose to raise the baby she was carrying.

When we got there, if you looked really close, you could see she was starting to show. As much as I tried to be polite, I couldn't keep my eyes off of her belly, the home of a tiny baby that just might make its home in my arms in a few months. We asked each other questions, surface talk really. Then she pulled out the sonogram picture. Oh....if she had known what that picture was doing to my insides. Contrary to what my husband (and my brain) told me, I fell in love with that baby on the spot. My arms immediately ached to hold this tiny bundle. Now what would I do? She could easily send us away without a second thought...and my heart had just been stolen by a picture of a barely human-looking creature.

As left the apartment, she said one phrase that would change my life forever. "I think you guys are the parents I want to raise my baby." At the moment I knew that whatever her choice would end up being, my life would never be the same. It would either be filled with unending joy (and exhaustion) or it would be filled with the heartache of one more loss. One single moment, one single phrase, one singe picture, and life was different.

The months following were filled with drs appts, text messages, a few phone calls. Always trying (and failing) not to get too close, not to fall too much in love. In July we had a second sonogram that told us the baby was a boy. I fell in love even more, knowing that Scott and the girls wanted the baby to be a boy. But I knew that if this woman changed her mind now, it would break not only my heart, but the hearts of everyone in my family.

I know I had that "expectant mother glow", and as excited as people were for us, I was warned on numerous occasions not to get my hopes up too high. I knew my heart had to keep hoping. Hope was the only thing that had gotten me to this point. So many times, while we were trying to have our own baby, I was so close to losing my hope. But I just felt in my heart that this baby boy was gonna be mine. So I defended my position to decorate the nursery, buy cute baby boy outfits, and plan the future of my little boy. My family told me they just couldn't bear to see me get my heart broken one more time. They said to be careful and not put my heart into it yet....but little did they know that my heart was in it from the first day. My heart would be broken whether I decorated a nursery or not.

As July turned to August, we knew the time was getting closer. I received texts almost everyday about braxton hicks contractions that kept feeling a little more like the real thing. We knew everyday brought us closer to the day of Johns arrival, and some days it about killed me to have to wait one more day. But after almost 9 years of waiting, 6 weeks wasn't much at all, I tried to remind myself. :)

And now, it's 6 weeks from a day that I thought would take forever to get here. I mean, the 4 month wait for John to be born seemed to take forever...so I just knew that a whole year would take even longer to get here. But in what seemed to be a shorter time span than the wait for him, it's almost time to celebrate one year from the day John William was born; another moment that changed our lives forever (but I'll leave that story for another post).

Every moment of our lives is something that can change our lives, for better or worse. And every change in our lives happens in a moment (a year really only takes a moment).