I had to share this. It's my new favorite worship song. I can't wait to get it worked up and let my church sing it. It's so powerful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FObjd5wrgZ8

Revelation Song
Worthy is the Lamb who was slain
Holy, holy is He
Sing a new song to Him who sits on
Heaven's mercy seat

Worthy is the Lamb who was slain
Holy, holy is He
Sing a new song to Him who sits on
Heaven's mercy seat

Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty
Who was and is and is to come
With all creation I sing praise to the King of kings
You are my everything and I will adore You

Clothed in rainbows of living color
Flashes of lighting rolls of thunder
Blessing and honor strength and glory and power be
To You the only one who's King

Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty
Who was and is and is to come
With all creation I sing praise to the King of kings
You are my everything and I will adore You

Filled with wonder awestruck wonder
At the mention of Your name
Jesus Your name is power, breath and living water
Such a marvelous mystery

Oh, You're worthy, mystery
You are worthy

Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty
Who was and is and is to come
With all creation I sing praise to the King of kings
You are my everything and I will adore You, I will adore You


**I now have it on my playlist!!!**

New Start

Wow! Where to start? I'm gonna say that this is my new beginning in life. We have made a major decision in our family. It's a tough one, but a very peaceful one. We are no longer trying for other kids. Martie is our one and only. We're ok with that.

I have come to the conclusion that I have wasted enough time that could have spent doing God's work. Ok, those of you arguing with me...yes, we had to try so that we didn't wonder for the rest of our lives if we did enough. But it has been a very rough time for us trying. And it's very obvious that God has not planned for us to have our own children.

I should be very mad about this....but wanna know something? I'm not at all angry. I have so much peace about this decision. I'll be honest, I have never before felt this much peace about something. I have true joy of the Lord for the first time in my life. And I'm so excited about what God has in store for us in the future. I am so open and pliable, that I know He will lead us where He wants us.

My whole life I've always fought for what I want...I've never really searched for what God wanted for me. That has all changed. I want so much what God wants for me. If it's music, great. If it's a young girls ministry, awesome! If it's just hanging with my husband and my parents (who will have an empty nest the same time as us) then so be it.

Have you ever really made yourself pliable to what God has in store for you? Or are you like I've been....so stuck in your ways and stubborn that you are miserable because you are fighting Him the whole time? If I may make a suggestion....I would totally just give in and give it all up to Him. You can't imagine this joy and peace until you really experience it.

So on to the "new start" in our life.

May God bless you and keep you. May His face Shine upon you.
Love ya'll!

Nothing

So I haven't blogged any updates on the status of the clomid and if it worked. And since I told everyone I wouldn't announce it till after Christmas you should know the results. It's negative all around. Darn...I was hoping this was our time.

I was even having all the symptoms. I was nauseaus (still am), a couple things of mine were sore (still are), I was (and still am) completely exhausted. So I had promising symptoms. That and I'm "late" by 5 days so now I'm confused what's going on there. =S Frustration city, man!

I also learned that I'm probably close to being clinically insane...seriously. Last Saturday I took a test and I swear I saw a faint line...same with Sunday morning (only a little more faint). Then Sunday evening I took another one and it was negative. So Monday I went in and had a blood test and negative that way too. Which means that I hallucinate and see things that don't exist.

I made a complete idiot out of myself, cause when I thought I saw the line I freaked out and told Scott, then I immediately called my mom and told her (and followed that up with a call to my sis-in-law). We were all so excited...until the tests started being negative. So I guess our last try was a bummer.

But I do have some other news that's pretty exciting. I got a new job. I'm working at the grocery store in Healy and I'm loving it. It's still my first week and I'm "in training" but I love the people I work with and I enjoy the job itself. So it's keeping me busy enough to keep my mind off of baby stuff. And now with Christmas coming up right around the corner, there's plenty planned and I get to see my family for a whole week...and even spend two nights in a hotel with only my hubby.

As disappointing as it is, I am still enjoying life, and I'm choosing to be content where God has me and with what He's given me. I choose to love Him no matter what (and no matter how angry I get in certain moments). I will always come back to Him.

God bless and have a very Merry Christmas!

Waiting, waiting, and more waiting

Ok, I need prayer. I'm so not a patient person. I think right now my patience has come from my sis-in-law. We still know nothing pregnancy wise. I think that if I am, my body is just being weird and making ME wait until Christmas.

I really think I'm losing my sanity in this wait. I was doing so good until Wednesday of this week. I started testing on Wednesday....I KNOW....it's way to soon! I have two more tests at home and I'm planning to try and wait until Monday to take one of them. And I'm also trying to get ready in case I get a little "something" this weekend and that means the answer is for sure no.

You know, I was thinking tonight. (this is said with a good attitude I promise). With as many pregnant women as I've seen and heard of lately (and as many new babies as there are now) it really can't be that hard to get pregnant. So what are we doing wrong? I thought that I had passed my sex ed. class (yes, I just said the "s" word). But I'm really starting to wonder if they didn't teach it right, or if I just didn't pay enough attention.

Ok, I'm done venting now. I just ask that you keep praying (if anyone is even reading this). Good night and I'll let you know as soon as I can what our outcome is.

God Bless and Merry Christmas!

The decision was made

I know, with Thanksgiving and all, I never got back to letting anyone know what our decision was...

...drum-roll please...

....We did the clomid. Yes, it's all over now and I am in what most ttc'rs (trying to concieve) call the two-week wait. I guess I can let you all know that we should know something by Christmas...but I have to apologize, cause if it happens we aren't sharing anything until a little later. Sorry, but I just have to make sure it sticks if I am pregnant.

On a good note, I have been doing very well with this one. I have kept my mind mostly off of it (kind of...) and it didn't seem like such a chore this time. It was actually kind of exciting. So maybe this is our time. The biggest change? The fact that if I'm not pregnant, I'm gonna be ok with it. I have at least one more shot with the clomid, so we'll discuss possibly doing it again at some point.

So I guess I'm now either pregnant or not and it's just a waiting game. So instead of praying for it to work, we must pray for my sanity...seriously. But anyway...I guess that's enough of that. And I gotta go charge my camera battery so that I can put pics on here and on my facebook page.

Love to ya'll! Merry Christmas.

Christmas is coming

Since I can't decorate for Christmas before Thanksgiving (rules by my husband who hates for Thanksgiving to be overlooked since it's his fave holiday) I snuck one thing by him this year. The day before Thanksgiving we had a neice and nephew over and between them, Martie, and myself, we made a gingerbread house. I have never done this before...and yes, I cheated. I bought a kit at walmart. Someday when I get used to doing them, we'll do a totally home-made one. But for now, not.








I let them decided how the candy would decorate the house, and they all seemed to agree (most of the time) how it should look.

I might also add that this house is very yummy...as it is now half-eaten.

My goal for next year? I want to buy a gingerbread village kit that I saw and make that my edible Christmas village for next Christmas.

Decisions, decisions

I almost don't know what more to say besides the title. But I better explain. We have taken a very large break from "trying" and those who follow my blog understand what I mean by that. This past May we hadn't even started trying for the summer yet when we ended up pregnant and I miscarried at the end of May. Since then I've not been ready or willing to risk trying hard for a baby.

This past weekend I also made the decision to give it all up to God. And I have been perfectly content to leave it in His hands and if I don't ever have my own baby, I'm ok with that. But today I all of a sudden had the thought that this cycle I want to try the clomid again. I have some on hand and the timing of it would have me taking it on Tuesday night. So the question is....do I take it and do we try, or do we just leave it alone and accept life as it is.

I don't want to give up too soon when there might be a chance, but at the same time, if it's not in God's will I don't want to push where I don't belong. I also don't want to get pregnant and miscarry once again. 6 has been plenty (and I just ordered the May stone for my memorial necklace). We don't need 7 angel babies.

I have not made up my mind yet, and thank goodness I have a couple days to be praying and thinking about it. If it's what God wants, I will give it my all and do exactly as I'm supposed to as far as dr's and things. And if it's not God's will, then we will go on as we have been and I will be content with what God has given me. So can I ask that you be praying for and with me in the next couple days as I seek God's will in all of this?

In other business, we are still waiting about the house we want. We were approved for a loan, but they won't loan us the $$ until the wiring gets replaced by the owner. So this next week we will be talking to the owner and trying to negotiate. I still really like this house and would love it, but I am choosing to take this the same way as the clomid thing....I want to be in God's will, so I want what He wants.

Just keep praying, I'll keep you posted, and all will be great and wonderful no matter what. Love to you all and God's blessings over you.