Well, it's real. Wednesday was not a dream and the journey is upon us. The shock has officially worn off and that was realized last night when Scott had to work late. This is not uncommon for him during this season because of harvest, but I still did not take it well. I called Scott and said some not nice things. I think I remember saying to him something like: "All the other guys at work can shove it up their butts. I don't care if one of them had a grandma die....I want you home and they can do your work for you."
I'm a bit ashamed that I had an outburst like this...and where the comments about the grandma thing came from, I'm not sure. If someone's grandma were to pass away, I would really not be that heartless. I do care about others.
But my actions and words were explained a little bit when Scott finally came home and went to me to see how I was doing. I turned around buried my face in his chest and cried "I can't do this." I guess we'll have to take turns being strong and it was Scott's turn last night.
This morning I felt a bit renewed and somewhat refreshed (still didn't get enough sleep) and I was ready for battle again. I made a facebook page for prayers and encouragement to Scott and the rest of us. I know that the more prayers we have, the better it will be...no matter what the outcome is.
I may have to use this blog to vent some when I don't want to be negative in front of Scott, but need to get out my fears and frustrations. I don't know how many people I know really read this, but if you are reading this and praying for my husband and our family, thank you from the bottom of my heart. The prayers are what is holding us together at this point. Thank you.
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